P199/4 The post on X
P199 On SlopHits, week 5
Not in the Top 40
P500#213 of 629 in the running: see it among all songsUntitled“Most people have heard Lil' Vader's "Mace Windu", but I think Lil' Frodo is where it's at.”
No title yet. That is the first line of the post on X.
- By
- @marksoares on X ↗Mark Soares
- Views
- 240K views on X
- Length
- 2:52
- Posted
- Sep 27, 2026
- Duels
- 0 won, 2 lost
P199/2 Lyrics & meaning
What it’s about
Frodo Baggins retold as a rapper. The video shows a tattooed Frodo with "Shire" inked on his forehead and a portrait of Gandalf on his neck, rapping into a studio microphone between shots of hooded riders in the fog. He runs through the quest: the Black Riders, the drums of Moria, Gandalf's fall from the bridge, Boromir's grab for the Ring, Gollum's "precious" and Shelob's sting. The chorus insists he never chose the job and carried the Ring when kings could not. He wants no crown, only his garden at home, and sees his own worst self in Gollum's face. The bridge is a tribute to Sam, who carried the pots, refused to leave him and pushed him on. The post calls the character Lil' Frodo.
Names and terms
- One Ring
- In J. R. R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings, the ring the Dark Lord Sauron forged to rule the other Rings of Power. It tempts whoever carries it, and Frodo must take it into Mordor to destroy it. In the song it whispers "Put me on, Frodo".
- Black Riders (nine dead kings)
- The Nazgûl or Ringwraiths: nine kings of Men who took rings of power and became Sauron's servants. They hunt Frodo as the Black Riders. The song's "nine dead kings and an Eye" are the wraiths and the Eye of Sauron.
- Sting
- The Elvish blade Bilbo found and gave to Frodo. It glows blue when orcs are near.
- Moria
- The ancient dwarf kingdom under the Misty Mountains. In its halls the Fellowship hears "drums in the deep", and on the Bridge of Khazad-dûm Gandalf faces the Balrog and falls when the bridge breaks.
- Boromir
- A man of Gondor in the Fellowship who tries to take the Ring from Frodo, then regrets it and dies defending the hobbits. The song calls him a "good dude underneath".
- Gollum
- A former bearer of the Ring who calls it "my precious" and later guides Frodo and Sam towards Mordor. The song has Frodo see himself at his worst in Gollum's face.
- Shelob
- A giant spider in the pass of Cirith Ungol on the edge of Mordor. She stings Frodo, and Sam fights her off and wounds her.
- Sam
- Samwise Gamgee, Frodo's gardener and companion, who carries the cooking gear and at the end carries Frodo up Mount Doom. The song's "little gardener" and "my brother right there".
Lyrics
Verse 1I seen kings fold, wizards hit the pavement
Friends get strange when the Ring start sayin' shit
Sam said, "Frodo, keep your motherfuckin' head straight"
Hard when the Dark Lord got eyes on your brainwaves
Brainwaves, brainwaves, brainwaves
Black Riders outside, hood low, no faces
Whole squad huntin' me through unfamiliar places
I'm five foot nothing, motherfucker, still dangerous
Sting glow blue when the basement gets spacious
Moria dark, hear the drums in the deep
Something down there and that something don't sleep
Gandalf turned around like, "Y'all better move feet"
Then the whole damn bridge disappeared underneath
ChorusOne Ring, one road, one motherfuckin' mission
Walk through the dead while the whole world listen
Eye in the sky, but the kid still hidden
Fuck being chosen, I was given no decision
One Ring, one road, ain't shit glamorous
Ash in my lungs, every mile get hazardous
Everybody talk brave till the dark start answerin'
I carried that bitch when the kings couldn't handle it
Verse 2I don't want a throne, I don't want your crown
I want my fuckin' garden in my old hometown
But I got this weight and it's pullin' me down
Every step east, hear a whisper get loud
"Put me on, Frodo"
Nah, shut the fuck up
"Just once, Frodo"
Bitch, I know what you're up to
Verse 3Boromir cracked, tried to take what I carried
Good dude underneath, but temptation gets scary
That's the thing about evil, it ain't always horns
Sometimes it sound like you when you're tired and torn
And Gollum keep creepin' like a fiend in the alley
Talkin' to himself while he's leadin' through valleys
"Precious this, precious that", motherfucker, relax
I got nine dead kings and an Eye on my ass
But I get him, yeah, yeah, that's what hurts
Look in his face, see myself at my worst
Same gold sickness, same beautiful curse
Only difference is how many miles till it works
BridgeSam, "You crazy bastard"
"Everybody else saw the Ring"
"You saw me"
You saw me
That's my brother right there, no blood required
Carried pots through Mordor while the whole world on fire
I said, "Leave me alone", he said, "Fuck you, liar
You can hate me tomorrow, tonight we climb higher"
That's loyalty
Not speeches and banners
Not kings with swords and theatrical manners
It's two little motherfuckers crawlin' through cancer
With no fuckin' clue if tomorrow got answers
Verse 4Shelob came down, eight legs, all business
Stung me cold, left the whole world distant
Sam went berserk, little gardener vicious
Turned a nightmare spider to a fuckin' statistic
Now we in Mordor, sky look infected
Feet cut open, every breath disconnected
Ring got heavy like the dead resurrected
Every thought I got feel externally selected
ChorusOne Ring, one road, one motherfuckin' mission
Walk through the dead while the whole world listen
Eye in the sky, but the kid still hidden
Fuck being chosen, I was given no decision
One Ring, one road, ain't shit glamorous
Ash in my lungs, every mile get hazardous
Everybody talk brave till the dark start answerin'
I carried that bitch when the kings couldn't handle it
Transcribed from the video and checked by ear. Words we could not make out are marked [unclear]. Made this song and want the text off this page? Tell us and it goes.
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